Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Aaaaaah! Doc, your fork has magical powers!

Wow, I think the Latin name for my household should be Vomitus Maximus after all that's been going on this year. Poor Dom got food poisoning from a frozen turkey pot pie yesterday. This is just ridiculous! We're healthyish people. Definitely more healthy than we've been in a while. Though I did eat his half of the pizza I made for dinner last night, in addition to mine. But that was just because he wasn't able to eat it and take it away from me!

Perhaps we should ingest some more vitamin C in our daily diet? Regardless, I have a checkup with my new doctor tomorrow afternoon. Whoo. That's a whoo like a deflated balloon, not a let's-go-party whoo. I haven't been to the doctor since my pregnancy and now I have no idea how to act. I mean, it's a checkup so do I list everything that might sorta be ailing me and make her think that I'm a hypochondriac whacko addicted to webmd? Okay, clue her into the fact that I'm a hypochondriac whacko, etc., etc.? Or on the opposite end, do I say that I'm completely fine and she say "Why'd you waste my time? I only see sick people."

My anxiety is really this, is she going to be like my doctors I've had up until Michael was born? Who were Bitch and Superbitch, by the way. Or is she going to be a nice, understanding physician like my O.B.s and the peeps in the hospital? I'm guessing that since she's a civilian doc, it'll be the latter.

In other health news, Liz replied to my plea for blog material with this:

"A 70 year old woman in India just gave birth to a baby. She had to use in vitro because all the efforts with her 72 year old husband went no where. Blog about THAT. *shudder*"

Okay, I will.

What in Brahma's name did you think you were doing, lady? Best case scenario you get to spend 30 years with your kid but only 10-20 of it will be coherent. You've just made him or her the weird kid in class that everyone will whisper rumors about his or her conception via a lab experiment gone wrong by the crazy, old, geezer scientist.

This is what I'm talking about people! Just be cause you're in your golden years doesn't mean you're owed shit. I'm sure her thinking was that she wanted to have children before she died. Why didn't you start, oh, 40 or 50 years ago? If you would have given birth to the little guy in your prime, he could be having contraversial invitro babies of his own by now!

That is all.



Follow me. I might lead you somewhere you haven't been.