Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Look at this! It's like an advert for weight watchers! Before... and way before!

Since my family is on "vacation" right now (we tagged along on one of Dom's work trips and am visiting his sister in my down time), I've been eating things that should probably void my weight watcher's membership...at every meal.  And since I have no desire to return to slidouche 50 lbs heavier than I left, I promised myself that I would eat better today.

It's 4:30 and I'm eating a piece of ice cream cake for dinner. 

Seriously, I was all weepy in the shower thinking that maybe I could just cry away all the pounds I probably put on in the last week.  I had a great conversation in my head that involved some sort of pact about only eating Subway for the next 3 days and that I hate cheese on my sandwiches. 

I don't hate cheese.  In fact, I had McAlister's for lunch today and ate a giant bowl of cheese dip and a bowl of potato and cheddar soup.  At this rate, I will continue teetering on the edge of fat until I finally just lunge headfirst into my first heart attack.  I've lost about 20 lbs. since having the baby, but I've been stuck in the 150's for months now.  And with my whopping height of 5'3....okay...5'2 and 3/4, it puts me VERY close to a healthy BMI.   

Close.  But it still makes me self conscious any time I have a lapse in food judgement.  Or say, if I never drink water and end up bloating up like a week old dead guy in a river.  Then I get mopey and eat cake for dinner.  It's a vicious cycle.  That's why I'm licking the last bits of chocolate, melty goo off my fork while trying not to flood my sister-in-law's dining room with my tears.

Today's subject line quote is from The Sopranos , "University" (2001).


Follow me. I might lead you somewhere you haven't been.