There is an article going around Facebook about "The Too Much Woman." I resonate with this, greatly. It is me and I am unapologetic. Why? Because it's not "too much." It's enough. When something is a need, it's never too much.
This is my existence--my truth in living. I've never been any less than this type of woman. And for that article to be a whole viral phenomenon, I'm obviously not the only one. I dive in headfirst because I am fearless. It costs me more energy to reign it in than it does to go all out. I feel deeply and love hard. And damn me for expecting the same.
I struggle with believing an all-in style love exists. But it must, because I'm it. I'm here and I am the too much-just enough type. There's got to be someone out there who can rival my force. Someone worth my time and dedication? I want enough. I need enough. I crave it with a hunger in my gut that radiates throughout my whole body.
You might try and convince me that I should be that person for myself, and I'll agree. I love myself with that passion, too. I'm not needy in that way. It's because I have such dedication and emotion invested in myself, that I want a love that will compete. I refuse to give up and I will not settle.
It will not happen right away. I understand that and I don't ask that of my future partner. But when we are there, it will be intense. There will be lots of attention; your needs will not be neglected. I give this vibe in all of my relationships when I care for friends and family, too. I'll make you dinner. I'll create art for your walls. I'll answer your texts at 3:00 a.m. because you're awake and need someone to talk with. I'm the woman who will send you a handwritten letter when you're down. I'm the mom who stays up all night sewing costumes baking elaborate cakes because my kids deserve something great and I am capable of greatness.
There's an air of vulnerability in this. I've been taken advantage of, as most people have in their lives. It's not a new concept that there are predators in our society. But I'm stronger for it. I heal quickly and have a high tolerance for pain. It's a superpower that accompanies feeling things so deeply and intensely. It's inevitable to gain resilience to withstand the landing when one falls so far and fast.
Today's subject line quote is from "The Too Much Woman" by Ev'Yan Whitney.
2 years ago