Happy New Year, visitors of the interwebs! As some of you might recall, I wrote an open letter to 2012 last December, pleading that the year would not be as chaotic and assholish as the one before it. If the sparsity of posts in the last 12 months is any indication, things have been quite calm. Things are much more laid back on the West coast, I suppose.
No matter what the reason, we lived the hell out of this last year! And to bring it to a close, our family took a vacation of historic magnitude. Apparently saving all the fun we forgot to have in the previous years, and tried to use it all up in the 3 weeks surrounding Christmas. By the time we got home, I was sick of fun. I hate fun now. I just want to sit on the couch and cry profusely while watching episodes of Nova on PBS; that's how much we maxed out the merriment. The balance of happiness and depression have warped into one confusing ball of emotion, who wants to eat all day. Oh yeah, I got fat for Christmas. Worth every gram, though.
Now I'm tasked with how to even present all this epic vacationary. I now declare that a word, meaning "a written explanation or account of a vacation; a combination of the words vacation, dictionary, and stationary." It's practically a part time job, except for monetary gain. Just the part where I get to log 20 hours or so into entertaining you all with hilarity and beautiful phrasing...and shit.
So here's the plan. I'm going to do this in installments. There will be no time-frame, because that's just mean. It'd be mean of me to promise bloggity goodness with a specific deadline because, let's be honest, it'd be a total lie. Also, it would be cruel of you to force me into such standards in the first place. Let's be mutually respectful here. As an artist, you shouldn't rush me. The end product will just reek of mediocrity and word vomit. Nobody wants crappy blog stains on the internet.
Unfortunately, today isn't an installment-type day. I have peanut butter on my sweatpants and a messy bun in my hair that both need attention before I leave to take Michael to swim lessons. I have some dignity, I won't wear food covered clothing, gross hair, AND be fat out in public. I have to draw the line somewhere. Right? Maybe not. Either way, no more blogs today.
Today's subject line quote is from
The Big Bang Theory
(2007 TV Series), Episode: The Vacation Solution (2012).
2 years ago