I have survived this seemingly pernicious weekend, and it was no simple feat.
Just like most of you, I'm grateful for Friday to come around, sweep me off my feet and carry me swiftly into the sunset of Saturday and Sunday to recover from a hellacious week. But, this weekend? It must have downed some primo speed, smoked a pound of crack, and went on an espresso binge in an alleyway behind Starbuck's.
Can you even get crack by the pound?
Regardless, I'm worn out and now need the work week to recover. Why? Because Friday-Sunday were filled with things like this:
FRIDAY
Well, actually, I don't remember Friday. Weird. I'm sure it was splendidly filled with kooky events and equally freakish people enacting them. Wait...was Friday the day we went to the park? If so, I was right and that's when the old man kept hinting that I need to be touching Michael in order to keep a close enough eye on him. Doesn't matter. Saturday is what you really want to hear about.
Saturday
My mother-in-law came to visit and subtly called my outfit whorish.
Saw Angels and Demons in the theater and was called out by my husband on my "reaction" when Ewan McGreggor appeared on screen. He thought I was laughing at his accent, and I assured him it was just because the man is very pretty.
Something about a wine bar, a rude waitress named "Titty McSlutterson," and me raising a "not a vaginatarian" to her "strictly dickly."
Lastly, there were exploding lightbulbs in my bedroom when I got home.
Sunday
Woke up around 6 with the dogs and stood in my bedroom staring at the wall until Dom asked me what I needed. To which I rasped "water," gulped down a cupful and somehow woke up again around 9 with no knowledge of getting back into bed.
Rain, New Orleans French Quarter, more rain, more mother-in-law, and a hangover.
It was much fun. But there can be too much of a good thing and now I have to decide between taking a shower or going into small coma while Michael is napping.
Today's subject line quote is John, "A Bit of Fry and Laurie" (1986) {(#2.1)}.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
Crazy stuff, but dont fret, Dr. Steadman RD(Relaxation Doctor) is here.
ReplyDeleteI prescribe to you the following:
1 Lounge chair, use twice daily for an hour
2 pitchers of iced tea with lemons and sugar, use as needed
1 nap time for child, refillable daily
1 stereo with cool jazz(or off brand music of choice) Use with Lounge chair
Take for a day, if still in same condition, I can prescribe 1 day care + spa day combo pack.
thank you for coming that'll be $200
:-P
Hehe...SMALL COMA...I love it!
ReplyDeleteYou do dress pretty slutty you know. I've seen your forearms at least six times since I met you, and we're not even married. No wonder you ended up pregnant.
You know...Mother-in-law = Grandma = babysitter.
Perhaps you should bring this up with her and work on filling Dr. Steadman's Rx.
There's no charge, of course, for my suggestion, everyone knows I work for free anyhow. -Dr.É