Oh great. I'm a writer, blogging at Starbuck's. Quick, somebody get me a beret and a cigarette! Lately, I'll take what I can get. Though I've worked it out with Dom to go "work" for 2 hours, twice a week. We're in our second week, and it's going phenomenally average.
It takes a while to get back into the swing of things, they say. See? I'm using cliches! I don't do that. But my brain is so mushified from the last few months' abuse that I just have to suffer with the rest of you readers. I'm almost sorry that you chose to read this. Almost. I also love attention...and comments.
Well, my writing time is established and I have happily chosen to blog tonight. Mostly because my head has been on the verge of a hearty explosion with all the whatnot crammed inside of it. If I don't get this all out in writing soon, all Slidouchebags within a 100 meter range might get slimed with grey matter and whatever stress looks like manifested and exploded out of my brain.
So let's see, what have I done lately? Let's give a brief recap of 2011. Had a baby--check. A baby who didn't understand that breathing wasn't quite like a Nascar race and collapsed her own lung and had to spend her first two weeks in the NICU. Then a follow up visit to the pediatric unit three months later for a virus. And I topped things off with her by dropping her on her tiny, infant skull at the movie theater and had to rush her to the E.R. yet again, only to be dismissed as a clumsy, idiot, mother.
She's doing well now. Trying to learn crawling.
I also made a metric ass ton of plans and prepped for our upcoming move to Maryland. Make that Virginia? No wait, wait! Nowhere. Yup. I spent about 6 months and 200 some odd dollars trying to get childcare arrangements made for Michael so he could attend preschool next fall. But we're stuck in the swamp until May, possibly next fall. It's a decision that Dom and I felt was the best, though the thought of spending another summer here in this hell-hole (literally, it's about 4,193,289,834 degrees here) is making that grey matter pulse a bit. It's better that we're not there in the midst of all that earthquake chaos; I heard a lawn chair fell over in Virginia.
Now my lady parts are malfunctioning and I have to beg for a referral from my primary doctor in the morning and hope she cooperates before 2:30 tomorrow. Otherwise, I might have to actually pay for somebody to go spelunking for cancer up in my cooch.
And I'll leave you with that, I suppose. You're welcome. Stay classy, like me.
Today's subject line quote is Friends: "The One with the Girl from Poughkeepsie"(1997).
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well thank you for not exploding grey matter on me. that stuff is surprisingly hard to get out of fabric ;) well i hope that now that the move is pushed off you can at least relax a tad (like that's possible.) good luck with the cooch dr!
ReplyDeleteGirl I am so looking forward to Friday. You have a lot to unload. Maybe we will have to try a little wine with lunch.
ReplyDelete"It's better that we're not there in the midst of all that earthquake chaos; I heard a lawn chair fell over in Virginia."--This is the most amazing sentence in the history of ever.
ReplyDelete"Now my lady parts are malfunctioning and I have to beg for a referral from my primary doctor in the morning and hope she cooperates before 2:30 tomorrow. Otherwise, I might have to actually pay for somebody to go spelunking for cancer up in my cooch."--My lady parts are currently costing my poor family cable and internet for at least the next forever (until I can find a job) and about a million other things (like all of Jeremy's vacation time)...so I feel your pain. Boo hiss for lady parts.
Hope you didn't call the Sherriff's office while booking the cooch spelunking.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I rushed ME to the ER a few too many times over the past 19 months - was actually starting to worry about DHS involvement. LOL They say it's part of being a parent....so you're not an idiot, or if you are, I am too, so you have company.