It's 7 a.m. on my birthday and I'm awake and everyone else is sleeping? After sampling 20 beers last night at the tasting, I should be in some kind of hangover coma. You know? I don't even enjoy beer. But I tried every last one at the Wine Market, took notes, and promptly collapsed to the floor in the back room.
It was Dom's idea to go, but that was before we realized that our babysitter, backup babysitter, and the family that have coming into town this weekend would all be unavailable on Friday night. So the plans we had made for my birthday extravaganza were modified to have me go drink, basically, over a dozen shots of beers from around the world. By the last table, I was a bit tipsy and certainly cleansing the palette with huge chunks of bread because all of table 3 tasted like nut flavored vinegar.
Meanwhile, my husband is babysitting our adorably sick daughter. And by "adorably," I mean she kept me up all night screaming her face off until I numbed her throat with Baby Orajel. She has the hand, foot, mouth virus--which leaves ulcers in the back of your throat and can eventually spread to your feet, hands, and torso. I had it about a year ago. I was pathetic! Couldn't even open the front door because my hands were so sore. I also looked like a leper.
My point is that exhaustion and alcohol don't mix. I had finished sampling and was chatting with my friends around the snack table and suddenly I was on the floor. Blame it on the drinks or the hooker heels I was wearing, but for all I know and remember...I could have been abducted by aliens in the time it took me to hit the ground. Now my right hand and hip and opposite thigh are all bruised up from hitting the table and then trying to break my fall (though not succeeding, apparently).
The rest of the night went more smoothly. We had a great time at dinner, even if they locked us back in the meeting room and we ate our burgers on desk chairs. And there was a great variance of conversational topics from the left side of the table to the right. The left end was discussing finances over their wine glasses while the right side was making jokes about bestiality and discussing how masturbation on airplanes is frowned upon. Since I was in the middle, I like to think that I had one foot in both worlds.
Now that I've made myself out to sound like a drunken whore, Happy Birthday to me. I want to be a lady when I grow up! Maybe for my 28th birthday someone will get me some dignity.
Today's subject line quote is from Bridesmaids (2011).
3 years ago