Monday, September 7, 2009

Nobody leaves this place without singing the blues.

Dom and I have done a series of dates lately of which a babysitter was used. No big deal, but it does get tiresome to constantly explain where your child is.

Say, at the wedding we went to about 2 weeks ago? We knew a lot of people in attendance, and every moment we saw someone for the first time that night they'd ask "Where's Michael?" or "Aren't you missing something?"

Well, dumbass, since common sense seems to pass you by...I've actually come up with a Top 10 list of favorite answers I like to give people at such an occasion.

10. In the car. I cracked the window.
9. We sold him to the circus as a knife thrower.
8. He's in the bathtub, playing "easy-bake oven."
7. I knew I forgot something!
6. At work, where else?
5. Who's Michael? [walk off]
4. He's been adopted by a couple in China.
3. Prison. We don't like to speak of him any more.
2. Hm. Where did I leave him last?
1. [at Dom] I thought he was with you! [run off panicked]

All you parents out there are welcome to use any of them. I like sharing in my awkwardness.

Today's subject line quote is (from one of the best movies of my childhood) Albert Collins, "Adventures in Babysitting" (1987).


  1. Others not making the list:
    -He's at home with the dogs, we left a pizza out
    -What do you think's *in* the burger? (a la "You Can't Do That on Television"
    -He's with the nice man we met under the overpass

  2. I'm a bit surprised people really expected a baby at a wedding. I don't think it that odd you left him at home for that sort of an event. But then again, I still don't see the harm in putting him in the dog crate. He didn't seem to mind being locked in at my house.

    Oh and props to Magellan for bringing back you can't do that on television. That was our best comeback line as kids!



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