Thursday, September 3, 2009

I love this cornbread so much, I want to take it behind a middle school, and get it pregnant.

You know what I didn't wake up thinking two days ago? Hey, it'd be awesome if everyone's facebook exploded with uterine exegesis?! Yeah, that happened. And it ruined my routine of ass-sitting and Mommy chit-chat all day long.

Do I have to say it? I don't give a flying hunk of marmoset poo that Michelle Duggar is pregnant for the 19th time, and I'm certainly not shocked or surprised. The woman's uterus is a professional fetal support system--why shut down the factory after 20 years of hard labor? bah-dah-ching! High five? Anyone? Bueller?

But seriously, stop. Facebook has been overrun with commentary about a stranger's cooter for the last few days and I need it to end. Maybe it's just me, but unless I'm somehow related to the subject vagina, I don't want to know about what's in it. I also don't want to see pictures of the little alien-shaped embryo. Unless it has a percent chance of coming out looking like me. *muah-kiss-kiss* Close friends count as relatives, so no worries. I want to see your hoo-ha!

So here's to not over-sharing the deets of our reproductive organs to unfamilar faces! In the words of Juno, "I'm guessing it looks probably like a sea monkey right now and we should let it get a little cuter." K, thanks.

Today's subject line quote is Tracy Morgan, "30 Rock" (2006) {Hardball (#1.15)}.


  1. so does this mean it's okay I sent you all a picture of our banana or not? There's really no chance that my ovarian fruit will come out looking like you, but we are technically family. Hmmmm. I've tried not to be that oversharing-type, but so many people only seem to want to talk about what's in my uterus these days. It's a little sad. Like, did anyone care that I was teaching training again? Or that I got a promotion? Or that I got to spend a fun weekend with my bro and his girl? nope, they just want to tell me to use cocoa butter and preach about the benefits of breastfeeding.

  2. Yes, it's totally fine that you show me what's in your pouch. Because it may not come out looking like me, but it could look like the hubs or my son. And those are the only other two people in the world that I even remotely love as much as myself. :)

    I didn't know you got a promotion!! What to? Like is there a title or something? Like, Supreme Overlord of Social Security or Mega Chancellor of Documents or something. I don't even know what you do for sure...

    I'm a terrible sister-in-law.

  3. Yes, I'm now the Supreme Overlord of Social Security. It's a promotion from Mega Chancellor of Documents. HAHAHA

    It's okay, I actually hadn't had a chance to tell everyone about the promotion. I'll email you more details :)



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