Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow.

As much as I have to say about the Dimaggio family's Christmas debacle, my New Year's Eve with Kelly, and whatever other crap I need to update you all on (and believe me, there's an assload and a half to talk about), I first have to complain about my property in South Carolina again. More specifically, I need to complain about my former neighbor and the lack of what's wrong with my property.

Remember the crazy, sexist neighbor that wanted to wear Dom's uniform and always asked why I was out of the house or doing yardwork? Now remember the flooded front yard that had to be dug up for the burst pipe that was going to cost oodles of money? Now ask yourself, How could those things be related?...or even...How can Cassidy get any more pissed off about this whole situation? The answer is: he drained his Blogdamn pool into my yard and didn't tell the plumber until after he watched them dig up the whole yard. They're sending crazy neighbor the bill.

Alright, there really is a lot to fill you lovely readers in on--so let me just speed update you. I'll just skip all the nonessential, still funny details.

Christmas with the DiMaggio's went as follows:

--J.P. and Nattie were nice as usual and we met my father-in-law's girlfriend (who smells like old lady perfume)
--Retreated to Memphis to play Hero Quest with Liz, Michael busted his lip on her coffee table, I get into a dogfight trying to help separate her dog and her foster dog, my pinky skin gets grazed and Liz's hand looks like she has a skin-eating rash, we declare her home "Liz's House of Pain."
--Retreated to Tupelo to spend some time with Rosie and Bil, have Xmas via webcam with J.P., Nattie, John, and his girlfriend, my father-in-law drinks half a bottle of champagne and tells the dinner table he's too sexy for his pants, I drink the other half and tell the family that I'm too drunk for answering questions.

New Year's Eve, anyone? Again, I drank too much champagne and ended up drunk dialing Geraldine from Kelly's phone. Now that the holiday's are over, I'll seem much less alcoholic. Promise.

And now for the sum up of the 5 whole days of 2009!

Marshall got back in contact with me. Got a myspace message and a text asking how I'm doing. Then I got a facebook message from my ex-boyfriend, Jim, telling me he's still not over me and my awesomeness. Basically, 2002 got jealous and wanted to celebrate as well.

Okay, you're updated. Now I can update how and when I feel like it without any obligations. And yeah, I'm gonna elaborate on that last bit eventually. I mean, if you want. Do you want?