Today is an important day in the history of me, which should make it eligible for a national holiday because my personal bygones are certainly worth celebrating. This day, November 12, marks a two year anniversary of my victory over depression.
Now, I'm not going to get all weepy and sentimental about how much more I appreciate life and express the same hormones that the Lifetime channel runs off of. I'm not even going to tell you stories about my dark days filled with turmoil and angst. I'm just going to subtly declare the mastery of my own emotions with a smile and a carefree blog.
I woke up with a good feeling today, not even remembering the date. I just felt vigorous and wanted to flaunt my vibrant sense of security. I just felt like everything was finally falling back into place, regardless of how stressed I've been lately. There are things to look forward to and, though I didn't realize it first thing today, things to look back on and be proud of.
So I got home from the gym this morning and looked in my keepsake box. Sure enough, the hospital bracelet confirmed that two years ago today, was the day I lived. It wasn't an incredible occasion to celebrate otherwise, but it does mark the beginning of a new age for me. It was then that I realized that I could and can get past any hardship, and do it gracefully.
After 22 years of constant ups and downs, an entire lifetime of making my body go despite my brain telling it that it's useless and so tired that I could do nothing greater than sleep for hours --but the insomnia kept me from even closing my eyes for days--I have not suffered from the symptoms and torture of being depressed.
It was like being stuck in a shell of myself, unable to break through the insecurities until I realized that I deserve happiness. And it wasn't going to handed to me, or left in a package on my doorstep. I had to work harder for it than anything else I've ever done. It is an infinite puzzle that takes working out any time I doubt my potential or get a dopamine overload.
So here's to a job well done and many more years of success! I officially declare November 12 National Cassidy Awareness Day. Ask your boss for that day off next year if your job doesn't already celebrate it. We'll go party.
2 years ago