Ikea products should come free with Happy Meals

I turned 33 this year and I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.  STILL.  When the fuck does that actually happen?  I'm working toward it.  In fact, I've been setting up appointments to tour cosmetology schools lately.  I have one tomorrow morning, in fact--followed by a trip to Ikea and then a date.  How does one dress for that trifecta?  I'm going to have to pull out some fashionista genius for this one.

So why cosmetology school?  My career as the best receptionist in Monterey is making me dead inside.  It's too much down time.  On a daily basis, I doodle with colored pencils on post-it notes, read ebooks and comics, write articles and poetry, plan fake parties on Pinterest, and play "How much like a sex operator can I sound like over the phone without creeping out my coworkers."  Good times.  But seriously, I need more.  As an artist, I need more to do with my hands.  I had that outlet with cake decorating, but then they started utilizing my meat slicing skills via the deli and I was OUT.  Not only was it gross, it was terrifying.  As someone who watched too many horror films as a kid which somebody gets their fingers mangled in the garbage disposal, conquering the slicers was a nightmare come true. 

I still take the occasional cake order out of my house to keep me happy.  So no doubt, I'll strap on my skates and roll around the kitchen while I'm baking for my friends and family.  If you ever want a birthday cake, hit me up.  My chocolate chip cookies are also notoriously delectable.  Baking is in my top 5 favorite things of all time, along with my kids, lattes, the arts, and derby.  I need more excuses to bake...for other people...so I don't get fatter.  I haven't made the devil's food cupcakes with bacon icing in a loooong time.  Who wants one?  Bueller?

Wish me luck on all the things tomorrow!  Becoming a cosmetologist would make me a professional artist again.  I'd get to use my hands on a daily basis and not only create art out of hair and makeup designs, but I'd be helping people feel better about themselves.  As someone who takes self care very seriously to counteract depressive episodes, I can honestly say that it can be life saving.  And my date is super hot and a doctor of psychology.  And IKEA!!



Today's subject line quotes is from Steve Fowler.