I halfheartedly apologize for neglecting this site for the past few months. With the joy of a little one on the way, I have become an Olympic caliber athlete in the categories of toilet hugging and bitching.
But since the first trimester is coming to a close, I find myself slowly moving out of the worst of the pregnancy. Now instead of doing the technicolor yawn every forty-five minutes, I've simply joined the ranks of the walking comatose. Seems I'm unable to function by 2 p.m. these days. I have to hope I sitting down by mid afternoon and not falling asleep during my 78th trip to the bathroom.
There are women who adore being knocked up; they're the ones who never get morning sickness, back aches, and sneeze out their kids in a 4 hour, natural labor. I never got my invitation to the super-awesome-at-being-pregnant club! I have to slave and toil, from the ralph-o-rama to 46 hours of labor. Even then the kid had to be surgically removed from my uterus because I utterly fail at being a preggo.
So to all of you who had it easy and think I should embrace the "miracle of life", kiss my ever-growing ass. My babies are smarter than yours.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
You're the best!
ReplyDeleteWow...saucy today. I remember thinking my entire second pregnancy 'Man, this sucks. Why did I want to do this again?' I swear, between 1 and 2, I forgot about backaches, muscle aches, and about a million other things (that I think I've forgotten since number 2)
ReplyDeleteOn the plus side, despite the completely ridiculous amount of agony and discomfort, based on your toddler, the reward is clearly worth it!
I didn't sneeze mine out in 4 hours of labor, but I didn't have prescription medication warranting morning sickness. I did have to pee every five minutes and was tired a lot. Plus I got sick of the ankle swelling and large extra appendage at the end. And hopefully you won't have to move 2000 miles within 6 weeks of sqeezing this one out.
ReplyDeleteSo, um, does that mean mine is somewhat as smart as yours? I don't know where I fall in the scale. LOL