Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I'm Gene Simmons, and I wear more makeup and higher heels than your mommy does.

Well, I'm not rollin' in the dough I made from the casino on Friday night. In fact, I was down $10 in 20 minutes playing the penny slots. It wasn't even the Monopoly slots with the fun bonus games. Nope, I could have had more fun setting my Hamiltons on fire.

I blame old people.

That's right. They're are putting me on a level of pissed off that only an internet wide campaign against the elderly can rectify. And before you start whining "But Cassidy, they're old. You should respect them in their dying moments..." hear me out. I'm not talking about the Grim Reapers next poker buddies. I'm talking about the early 60s to late 70s bracket that think they're owed something for making it to said decade. No, I'm mad at the Grams and Gramps that are always pissy with me for being in their bubble of, say, 50 feet?

I'm through with that shit. I've seen too many Granny boobs to just be Zen about old men stealling the good slot machines and scowling at me. Naked Grandma even glowers at me for using an electrical outlet in the locker rooms. There are two mirrors with outlets at them and she doesn't need either of them. But she decides to put all of her hair gel and crap right next to me while she washes her bathing suit in the buff and while giving me the metaphorical finger?

Plus, old people are responsible for this:

After brooding about the slots, I did finally have the balls to play a table game. So then Dom and I gave all our money to the dealer at the roulette table. At least that was fun. That and being in the same hotel/casino as KISS!

Well, Mini KISS. They're a KISS cover band of dwarves and they were playing at whatever casino we were at. Blogdamn, I can't even remember where we were? I wasn't even drunk that night.

I think the one on the far right is Asian. Their lead singer is actually a girl, too. Our group said they saw them walking in carrying guitar cases, but I totally missed it. I may never again have the chance to see Gene Simmons's 1/2 doppelganger in person again!


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